The public conversation is demanding answers before we've heard a question. "Should" we do this, or "should" we do that..... Who is asking? Who gets to ask the questions? Who gets to frame the questions? Who gets to answer first? Who wants to listen? Who knows how to listen? Who is required to listen?
Sometimes when it feels like the sky is actually falling (you look up and confirm it's still there), each of us goes to a "place" to figure things out. Each of us does something different. The fact that our expressions of confusion and our ideas for plans are so riddled with untold personal influences suggests that we might start at a beginning, even when no one else around us seems to be doing that.
Yes, we may have to "go first."
This is easy for me to say. After all, I'm in my robe waxing poetic. I am also wrapped in a blankie of grief because my father died 5 days ago.
So for this writing, I'm going to let myself be a researcher on the use of the word, should. What people should believe. How others should conduct themselves. How Things should Have Gone.
My hypothesis is this:
The word should, should only be used in a question format, in a case of emergency. That way, people will believe you when you find yourself shouting at them to do something or think something or feel something or be something, they trust that you are using the word should to save their life. It’s a selfless gesture to tell someone they should change their behavior. It’s kind of like bearing witness, though. Initiation. When you care enough to take the risk of offense to convey something important to another. Or, when someone who hasn’t told you what to do your whole life, tells you what to do.